So, Billy was relaxing on his sofa with a great friend last night, halfway watching the Oscars, but probably more focused on caressing the Woodford Reserve Double Oaked that was sitting in his bullet glass - and yes it was neat. Billy was also thinking about all the movies that he did not see this year and wondering "how'd I miss that", then remembering it was a busy year after all.
But then came the best actor award, Billy wanted Matt Damon to win, even though the Martian was a little . . . well lets just say if you watched Castaway and you watched Apollo 11, well put them together and keep your $12 in your pocket. But then the award went to Leonardo DiCaprio. As he began to talk, Billy said out loud to his friend "well that boy has grown up into a nice young man". Well, then Leo got to a pivot point in his speech, at which point he should have PIVOTED and sat his ass down but instead, he kept talking. He made these statements:
"Making The Revenant was about man’s relationship to the natural world. A world that we collectively felt in 2015 as the hottest year in recorded history. Our production needed to move to the southern tip of this planet just to be able to find snow."
Okay Leoretardo, from my quick research, the filming of this movie was delayed until May -Aug 2015. Really, are you that freaking surprised you had trouble finding snow cowboy? I could go on but . . . .
Then he continued:
"Climate change is real, it is happening right now. It is the most urgent threat facing our entire species, and we need to work collectively together and stop procrastinating. We need to support leaders around the world who do not speak for the big polluters, but who speak for all of humanity, for the indigenous people of the world, for the billions and billions of underprivileged people out there who would be most affected by this. For our children’s children, and for those people out there whose voices have been drowned out by the politics of greed ... Let us not take this planet for granted. I do not take tonight for granted."
Leo DiCapitated, WTF dude, okay just two points that Billy must say:
(1) Your an actor you idiot, steam up the windows of a car with Kate Winslet (who may or may not have been watching the Oscar's with me) stand at the front of a ship and declare you are king of the world, but don't mistake our fondness of your acting with the fact that we don't give a crap about your political agenda.
(2) Climate change, FKA Global Warming. Come on Leo, read an 8th grade science book and get over this. Yes, the world's climate is changing but there is absolutely nothing you, or I, or the collective humanity and all the billions and billions of underprivileged people out there can do about it. It changes every day, it changes every week, year, decade, century, just ask the dinosaurs man. It sucks, but so does death but you can't stop that either.
(and the next 2) "The most urgent threat facing our entire species" - now you have just pissed ole Billy Hill off. I would have walked up on that stage and just bitch slapped your ass for that one Leo, one big slap for every member of our species that has died at the hand of radical islamic terrorism. Tell them that a hot Sunday afternoon is more threatening than having your head sawed off by a dull blade because you professed to be something other than a radical Islamic Muslim, or every fatherless or motherless child at home who did not see their mom or dad come back. You snotty nosed, imbecile and spoiled little brat you.
So, Ms Winslet, I take back my comment, he did not grow up into a fine young man, he just turned into a chubbier, older actor that wants to appear intelligent and politically cool, but to anyone with a decent high school education that is not trying to get into your pockets or enslave you to big government, Leo just looked like a buffoon. Hey Hollywood, read your script in front of the camera like you are paid to do, and thank the public at the Oscars for giving you their money to be entertained, but save your political garbage talk for your multi-million dollar parties that you attend in your eco-friendly private jets while you pretend to give a crap about the billions and billions of underprivileged people. You are all just like Sally Struthers, totally consuming and wasting all the resources rather than giving them to those that you purport to give a damn about. Take your little golden naked man and go home Leo learn to shut up a little earlier. Actually, maybe we should start modeling the Oscar after Sally, just a thought.
Billy Hill here, I like it neat.